The Last Day in NUS

Yes... The very last day of the official school term...

After 4 years in this school...
It will be very hard to part with it...


To tell the truth...
Words couldn't explain how I feel...

All the memories...
The wonderful ones...
The lousy ones...
The normal ones...
The boring ones...
All of them...


My first day in NUS... Being a freshie during orientation week... And later becoming a councillor for three years... Exploring NUS at night during O week... Getting the shit scared out of me during Fright Night when I was a freshie... Scaring the shit out of freshies when I was a councillor... Mugging in central library... Clashing lectures... Ponning lectures... Mugging in E2 computer cluster... Finding friends to hang out... Going to the bazaars at central forum... Running towards the Milo Truck for Free Milo... Drinking at least 4 cups of milo at one go... Doing projects... Brainstorming for the Design Project... Mugging overnight in school... Joining BHID... Been loved and been hurt... Enjoying the night view of NUS at night... Chionging and cursing FYP... ORD-ing from FYP... Meeting all kinds of people... Making new friends... Maintaing some friendships while losing a few... Enjoying (or not) the company of all the people I have encountered with... My last day in NUS...
Experiencing so many things...

It is endless...


I'm too attached to this school...


I'll miss you NUS...
My heart is breaking at the thought of leaving you...


But...
It is time for me to continue the path of life...

Some Things Just Cannot Be Controlled

It is a fact that nothing last forever…
There’s a time limit to everything…

Love, friendship, all kinds of relationships etc…

How eerily scary…

We could be best buddies now… Lovers… Good friends…
Fellow classmates or colleagues… Siblings…
I could belong to a school, any institution, any country…

But any of it could end just like that…
When the time has come…
It is goodbye to the things you know… The things you love… The things you cherish…
With nothing left, but the memories of it all…

Very frightening, but it is part of life…

But I do not like it…
I do not like forcing myself to like it…

“Accept it”…
“That’s a fact”…
“There’s nothing you can do about it”…
“That’s life”…
Yes I know, do I seem like a retard who does not comprehend such basics?

“There’s nothing you can do about it, you might as well face it happily, no point in making yourself sad”…

How many times have I heard that sentence…
True, I do agree with the logic in it…
Since it is nothing you can do about it, might as well embrace it and be happy right??
How very cheerful…
But no, I do not like being told that I have to be happy because it is something out of my reach, so “I might as well”…

“Be happy”…
“You can control the way you feel about this”…


No I most certainty do not!!!

I can’t control the way I feel!!!


Yes sure, I can control the way I behave, I can control my actions…
I can face those unbreakable forces of change with a smile and with arms wide open…
I can say I’m ready for it, or that I look forward to it…
Heck, perhaps I can even psycho myself into believing that I love it…

But at the end of the day…
My emotions… My feelings… My inner most thoughts…
I can’t control my emotions, the way I feel, my deepest thoughts, the very thing that make me human…

I will feel sad when the people I know leave me one by one…
I will feel sad when I leave school for good, filled with memories of that place, be it good or bad…
I will feel sad because those things which I loved and enjoyed are no longer the same any more…

New friends will come to meet me…
New places will be there for me to go to and explore…
New experiences await me whenever I leave a phase of my life and enter a new one…

But it will not be the same...

Perhaps I will be happy…
But that does not mean I will not be sad when the old things left me…

How can I keep telling myself to be happy when I’m bleeding inside?!

We have a choice…
We can choose to embrace changes…
We can choose the way we behave, the actions we take…

But I do not believe that we have a choice in our emotions…
It is something that comes naturally to us…


So please... Stop...


People come and go in our lives…
Leaving nothing but footprints and memories…